Home, Sweet Home

Hello there! I'm Dougie Schwartz, keeping Austin weird as the resident author of humorous, whimsical fiction. Thank you for visiting!

If you are unfamiliar with my style of fiction, you might want to explore the several works of "Schwartz" fiction (short fiction). Typically, most of my writing is humorous, creative, and tends to have a positive message. Fun for the whole family! Including the illustrated books for kids! If you prefer something darker, I also dabble in various genres. All my available works can be accessed from the bookshelf below.

This website is named after my first book, Checkered Scissors . In the book, four lost souls look for a way to get to where they want to be. They each seek the Checkered Scissors, an office supply with the ability to cut between worlds! Like the scissors in the book, when you see a pair of scissors embedded in the text, click on them to "cut" to a different area of the website. Why not give it a try? If you would like more information about navigating my ridiculous website, click on these scissors...

This is not one of the cookie cutter, WordPress sites. This website is homegrown—programmed by myself from the ground up. Unfortunately, it has also been tested by myself. If you encounter any bugs, please let me know.

Throughout the Summer of 2022, I remodeled this website to improve visibility into the many things offered. I juggled these changes with the release of my second children's book, Yertle, the Fried Egg . If you would like to keep up-to-date with new releases and changes, I encourage you to subscribe to the newsletter , emailed monthly.

Please, take your time exploring the site and my unique style of humorous fiction. Who knows what you might discover? If you would like to share your discoveries with others, you will find a "Share Box" at the bottom of most pages. The Share Box updates with a link to specific content, often accompanied by a suggested blurb. Use the button to copy this information, and then paste it wherever you choose to share it. Remember...Sharing is caring!

Thank you for your support!
Dougie Schwartz