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Works of fiction by Douglas Schwartz

Spilt Milk
Spilt MilkReview: "I loved it!

This is an adorable book. Perfect in tone and subject matter for children, entertaining for adults reading along with them. I had a smile on my face the whole time I read this book. I also loved the illustrations, which are fresh and delightful, and the snarky little-plays-on-words like Monkey Pants, Smarty Pants and Anson Pants. Spilt Milk gives a whole new meaning to the expressions, "Don't cry over spilt milk!" and "Is it a crime to spill milk?" 5 stars!"
Julia Krantz
(February 12, 2018)



Pickled Bananas and Other Schwartz Stories
Pickled Bananas and Other Schwartz StoriesReview: "While an anthology of stories can be hit or miss (everybody has their tastes), there is a lot to like in Pickled Bananas; while all the stories have a similar tone and style to them, you are bound to find a favorite or two among them...Yes, Pickled Bananas will probably leave you with a good taste in your mouth, and waiting anxiously for more."
Seth Paul
(May 05, 2016)



Checkered Scissors
Checkered ScissorsReview: "What an incredibly imaginative book! I really don't know how the author thought up half the things in here. Crazy characters, crazier worlds. Just brilliant. It really sucks you in and makes you curious about what happens next."
Traci Clayton
(December 30, 2014)



A Rarity, Artley
A Rarity, ArtleySummary: The story of Danny Artley, a young artist struggling for recognition and acceptance.

This tale is dedicated to all the rarities in the world. To all the dreamers, weirdos, whackos, strange agents,...pretty much anyone who sees the world differently and feels like they need to explain their unique vision to the rest of the world. To all the artists, authors, musicians, poets, scientists, sculptors, and so on, who give that unique vision definition and clarity. To all the shunned, ignored, misunderstood, forgotten,...This tale is for you. Enjoy!

(Approximately 14,500 words)



Self-Made Witch
Self-Made WitchReview: "This was excellent! I enjoyed every bit start to finish! I would love to see Trudy in another story!"
Edweirdo92
(June 16, 2016)



Muggle Studies
Muggle StudiesSummary: In the US, middle-aged muggle, Tony Wilson, has finally received his calling as a wizard. He learns about his newly discovered magical abilities while taking on the role of the muggle studies teacher. While Tony teaches about the lives of muggles, the staff at the school study Tony to learn more about his latent magical abilities. This story is for all who await their calling.

Muggle Studies is a work of original fan fiction.



Party Trap
Party TrapReview: "It was actually very good, with an actual plot rather than random nonsense that I have come to expect of Hitchhiker's Guide fanfiction. And your writing style - hats off! You totally nailed it - it was like I was reading a one shot written by Adams himself. And the humour was actually really good - not tacky and forced as it generally is in a lot of fanfiction."
blimey2310
(February 07, 2016)



More Than Dalek
More Than DalekReview: "Beings as pitiless as Daleks, but gifted with creative thinking and who actually enjoy killing? Now that's terrifying..."
The Dalek Advocate
(October 07, 2016)



Jammed
JammedSummary: When the TARDIS is stuck in space in the path of an oncoming planet, the Doctor enlists the help of an astronomer. Will he be able to move the Old Girl in time? Or, will she become a spectacular addition to this year's meteor shower?

Jammed is a work of original fan fiction.



Wyrd World II (Anthology)
Wyrd World II (Anthology)Review: "From whimsical to witty, from bleak to full-blown apocalyptic, this collection of short stories has as many different worlds to discover as it does stories."
L.W. Stuart
(October 10, 2014)



Hello! Welcome to the Checkered Scissors website. I am Douglas Schwartz, author of whimsical fantasy with a witty sense of humor and an overactive imagination.

Please, explore the Checkered Scissors website to discover my works of fiction and other projects. Along with my works of fiction, you can find some of my artwork, rules to a card game, and other extra tidbits of fun.

Click one of 'Follow' links on the side of the page to follow my social media posts of other shenanigans and projects. Or, click on the 'Contact' menu button to send me a personal message. If you are a fellow author, or know someone who is, click on the 'Karma' button to help promote your favorite indie authors.

Thank you for visiting!

What's Going On?
2019-01-13 16:09:49
I ended 2018 winning a short story contest. Does that mean I can start referring to myself as Doug Schwartz, AWA?*

In the past few years, I have shied away from declaring resolutions at the start of the new year. But, I have set myself some goals for 2019...
* Where AWA stands for "Award Winning Author"?
Current Standing Towards Weekly Goals:

Goals without Progress:
Writing: 0/3000 word(s)
Editing: 0/5 page(s)
Outlining: 0/30 minute(s)
Marketing: 0/2 post(s)
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